• Matthew J Fowler

An Aspie’s Guide to Stonewalling And Gaslighting

Depression once again recently gave me an uppercut and knocked me off my feet. Without going into detail, I have encountered people who have been gaslighting me recently and because I didn’t know what they were doing. Due to my autism and my inflexible thinking patterns, I realise that it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know what was going on.


I am writing this blog post to help others like myself on the spectrum who don’t know the tactics that some bullies do so you can watch out for them and protect yourself.

1. Gaslighting makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.

2. Stonewalling is a refusal to communicate or cooperate when you try and talk to someone, they just point blank you and refuse to engage with you.


So, what can you do?

1. Stop people pleasing- I have recently set invisible boundaries and understand that the people who are stonewalling me are not my friends and are looking for a reaction.


2. Remember your awesome- You are special remember if your on the spectrum your mind is built different and you should embrace that and follow your passion.


3. Self-Care, Safe Care and More Self Care- Take some time to switch off and distance and relax do things you enjoy and don’t dwell or get sucked into the motives of the people are making you feel bad. It’s there problem not yours.


4. Focus on your own grind- Like I said earlier focus on your own goals and don't let these insecure people dictate to you or write your story. You don't need them to understand or get what you are wanting to achieve so don't let them take your greatness.


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